Resolutions for the New Year

Have you noticed that practically every commercial around the New Year is selling some miracle weight loss product, but only to women!

Excuse me; am I the only one who sees lots of chubby guys out there?

A couple of years ago, Oprah did a fascinating show.

Her guests confessed their secret lives as shoplifters. She gave the astounding statistic that 23 million Americans are stealing from stores. Wow, how was that stat arrived at??

Now, as a psychotherapist I’m wondering why no one is asking why so many of us are shop lifting our lives away. Not to mention eating, getting into debt, drinking/drugging, gambling, and having sex compulsively without pleasure.

Why all the attempts at running away, or hiding from ourselves and seeking numbness? And why are all the suggested solutions/resolutions only external?

Could our hearts be breaking at the state of our lives and or the world; making us feel really helpless? Maybe life is not the fantasy we had hoped for…

The obsession with thinness not integrated with wellness, the insane need for more and more stuff; are disconnecting and will not help us change and grow into the people we were meant to be …

On this earth we learn through our bodies. Addictions and compulsive behaviors are meant to take us to our deepest yearnings and desires. They are guides to our higher selves; reminders of our tender nature and a call to love our vulnerability; which can then flow into compassion for all humanity.

Our internal lives are much more important then most of us realize. A sense of connection to self, others and a caring higher power can help us feel grounded, hopeful and sustained through life’s challenges.

Maybe our New Year’s resolutions would be more helpful if they came from our hearts; our most honest and truest selves.

This year, if or when you reach for a behavior or substance or person that you know is harmful to you, ask your heart, spirit, soul, what you really need and want. Then, this is the hardest part; practice listening, go beneath the craving of the moment and the chatter of the world, to receive the gift of your own wisdom. You will change from the inside out.

It is not the ”thing” that we need so badly; it is that we want our lives to be sweeter, richer and much more fulfilling.